Day 27 - Finger foods

I love spinach dip. I love cheese dip. I  love brownies. I love chips. I love cheese platters. I love chocolate chip cookies.

I love all these things, and yet somehow, by some miracle from heaven above, I managed to ignore all of them at Matt's staff party last night.

A whole table full of yummy, calorie and fat-laden finger foods and goodies, that one month ago - heck, probably 2 weeks ago - I would not have been able to resist. I've always sort of had this don't-pass-up-free-food mentality.

I used to work for a company that had a gagillion catered lunches a week. I'm only slightly exaggerating. There were meetings every day of the week that for some reason required a sit-down lunch - sometimes 3-4 in one day. As the receptionist at the time, it was my responsibility to order these lunches. That means I usually chose the menu as well.

For a food-lover such as myself, a free, catered lunch was heaven. There were almost always leftovers after the meetings, so I would pile up a plate and take it back to my desk. Not so bad, right? Well, if I had been able to stop at one plate with one lunch, I probably would have only suffered a slight bulging of the waistline.

If there was more than one type of lunch that sounded appealing (remember, I chose the menus so they always sounded appealing to me) I would have a plate of each one. Not because I was hungry, but because it tasted so darn good. Because it was free. Because clearly I was filling some sort of empty void with food. I gained a lot of weight.

Last night was a huge personal victory. A whole spread of foods that I love, for free. Free cocktails. I didn't have a bite or a sip of anything but water.  I even forgot to bring one of my medi-fast meals, and I still didn't need to eat anything at the party.

The best part is, I didn't really have to think about it. I knew that NONE of that food would taste as good as I feel when I step on the scale and see it go down. None of it would be as satisfying as slipping into smaller jeans. For the first time in my whole adult life, I was completely in control of my food addiction.

I'm going to stop writing now - I'm getting choked up at the thought of my huge breakthrough. I'm proud of myself. So very proud. My journey is far from over, but at least I know that I'm the one driving now.
-B

Days 24-26: Size 8 feels great!

Again, I apologize for my lack of blogging the last few days. Between a sick toddler and a baby not sleeping much, I've been a little busy and tired.

I'm guessing you've noticed the title of this post - yes, ladies and gentlemen (but probably only ladies) I am in my size 8 jeans. They feel awesome. They look awesome. I'm back to only having one pair of jeans that fits, but that's ok with me!

My dad and my husband both happened to get me Macy's giftcards for my birthday - I'm saving them for when I reach the end of my journey, but it is going to be difficult. Within the next month, I'll probably be down another size, and won't have anything to wear! Luckily, we have an awesome consignment place in McMinnville and I can probably get some stuff for super cheap.

The other day I made myself some zucchini lasagna for dinner - you use thinly sliced zucchini instead of noodles, reduced fat cottage cheese, and ground turkey. It was fabulous. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE lasagna and all pasta in general, but this recipe was good enough that I'll make it again and again to satisfy my lasagna cravings - and save the real stuff for special occasions.

That's it for now! Looking forward to sharing my results of the week with you on Tuesday morning! - B

Day 23 - Let's get things moving.

A word to the wise - if you are planning on starting the medifast diet or have just recently started, please know that you will likely get constipated. I highly recommend one Fiber Choice chewable tablet a day. It has a little bit of sugar in it, but that is why I only take one. (the normal dose is two) - it seems to help.

Anyway, day 23 was great.  I started my meals late, so I actually got to eat every 2 hours, which was kind of nice.  I also did a vigorous elliptical workout for 30 minutes. It felt so good to sweat.

I've been asked for some of the recipes I'm using for my lean and green meals, so here are the links to a couple of blogs that my friend Trish recommended (thanks Trish!) - all the recipes I've used are on these sites.

http://www.margenesleanandgreens.com

http://newbeautifulme.blogspot.com

(Alisha - the cauliflower pizza recipe I use is on the second site.)

Enjoy! - B

Day 22 - PIZZA!

I had a massive craving for pizza yesterday. The sauce, the cheese, the crust....mmmmmm....

I made cauliflower pizza again, and realized that really all I was craving was the sauce - you put real pizza sauce on cauliflower pizza - after I ate it, I was satisfied! Yay!

I suffered a feeling of weakness all day. Like even though I'd been doing great so far,  I was going to fail miserably. I'm pretty sure this is not the case, but it is thoughts like this that have made me give up any plans I've tried in the past. A feeling of "it isn't going to work, so why keep trying?"

Luckily, I have this blog, and you, my faithful readers, to keep me accountable. I won't be giving up any time soon - I just need a dose of something really positive today to help keep me motivated.

My next month's shipment is supposed to be here on Friday. I ordered some different things this time - none of the stuff I don't like, and some new things to try out.

In other news, my triplet nephews and niece are being born today! That will be my something positive! Can't wait to meet those babies! - B

Day 21 - Week 3 in the bag

Well, here we are at Tuesday morning - the scale read 170.2 lbs today, for a weight loss of 1.8 lbs this week and a total of 13.7 lbs for 3 weeks.

I cannot lie and say I'm not disappointed in my smaller loss this week, even though I knew it was coming. I also feel like a fool saying I'm disappointed, because 1.8 lbs on any other plan would be considered a huge victory! I guess I feel the way I do because if I hadn't had 2 off-plan days, I would have lost more. But, if you go off plan, your body goes out of ketosis, and takes 3 days to get back in ketosis once you restart - meaning that after today, my body should be back in ketosis, and I'll be back to losing more weight.

Still, 1.8 lbs is a victory - any day the scale goes down is great, even if it's only .1. I will try to remember this as my weeks go on, and the weight comes off more slowly.

For poops and giggles, I tried on my size 8 jeans the other day - not quite a fit, but not so far off either. At least I can button them! :) A month ago that would have been impossible!

I'm excited to start doing a bit more vigorous exercising this week - I've made it through the first 3 weeks, so now I can find new activities that will not only help my weight loss, but will help me get back into shape as well.

Thank you all for your continued support on this program! I couldn't do it without you! - B

Days 18-20: Birthdays and Barfing

Friday night was spent out with my hubby - we had a romantic dinner at McCormick and Schmick's Harborside and then went and saw the Amos Lee concert - it was wonderful!

For dinner on Friday night I had a pretty good meal - not quite on plan, but not so far off, either. I had a small piece of salmon, a crab cake, some green beans, and about 1/4 cup of orzo.  I also had two dirty martinis, and the restaurant brought me a cookie and ice cream dessert, which Matt and I shared. All in all, it wasn't so bad - except that at 4am on my birthday, I woke up and puked it all up.

I'm still not quite sure what happened. At first, I thought, "I only had 2 drinks all night, I shouldn't be sick." Then I thought, "Maybe I have a flu bug or something," and then, "Maybe my body wasn't ready for all of that "real" food yet."  At this point, I'm leaning toward a combination of the latter two, because I ate one of my medifast bars for breakfast yesterday morning, had some peppermint tea to calm my stomach, and then tossed that all up, too.

So, the actual day of my birthday didn't start out in a stellar way. However, Matt and I were staying at the Kennedy School in Portland, and we sat in the soaking pool for awhile - it was such a beautiful morning!

After we picked up the kiddos from my parents' house, we came home and I slept until I needed to get ready for my birthday party.  I woke up feeling somewhat better - hungry. At dinner I had a half of a garden burger, some tater tots, and diet soda. I also had a very small sliver of my chocolate birthday cake.

When I went to bed last night, I thought I was going to get sick again, but I woke up this morning feeling much better. Maggie slept well, so Matt and I did too. :)

With the exception of the getting sick part, my birthday really was wonderful. I got to spend the evening with my family and friends in a low-key celebration at the Hotel Oregon, and it was lovely.

Today I was back on the Medi-fast wagon. I actually told Matt this morning that I couldn't wait to get back on the plan - I'm not sure what it is that clicked with me over the last few weeks, but I think I finally get it. If I put good things in my body, I feel amazing.

It was wonderful to be back on plan today - as I mentioned in previous posts, I'm not expecting a stellar loss this week due to my two off-plan nights, but I am still looking forward to see what the scale says on Tuesday morning. One more day in this medi-fast week to go.

Hope everyone had a great weekend! I did! - B

Day 17 - I have more than one pair of pants to wear now!

After I had Maggie, I lost weight pretty quickly, which was great. However, when you have a baby, your body changes significantly - just because I lost my pregnancy weight, does not mean I had gotten down to my pre-pregnancy size.

Within a couple of weeks after Maggie was born, I was ready for regular jeans, but the largest size I had in my drawer was a size 10.  I went shopping for some size 12 jeans. I bought two pairs of the same, knowing that I would eventually shrink some more, so I shouldn't invest too much money in new clothes.

I have been wearing those pants almost every day for 3 1/2 months. (I washed them frequently, of course.)

Last night, I realized I had a BUNCH of size 10 pants in my drawer. This morning, I tried them all on, and they fit like a glove! What a wonderful feeling! I have so many more wardrobe options now, and it feels so fabulous to be a smaller size.

After I get a little more weight off, I'm going to start the "Insanity" training program - saw an infomercial for it this morning, and I decided that will be my next challenge for myself.

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday - because I will be out of town, and plan to not stay perfectly on plan tonight, I weighed myself this morning, just so I can see how not staying on plan will affect me.

I weighed 169.9 lbs this morning. Less than 3 weeks ago, I was in the 180's, and today I'm in the 160's. It feels freakin' awesome.

I'll let you know how the birthday celebrating goes! - B

Day 16 - Still going strong

Here we are well into my 3rd week on the program - while I really am looking forward to a real meal as a treat this weekend, I am still feeling very strong. Valentine's day is approaching, and normally at this time of year I buy myself some chocolates, so I definitely am tempted when I walk through a grocery or gift store.

Today's post is short and boring, so for that I apologize. I am exhausted because my baby is waking up about 6 times every night. (She was sleeping 9-10 hours straight before this week)

Maybe I'll something more profound to say tomorrow - B

Day 14 and 15 - Oops, I'm behind!

Sorry I'm behind! I was so busy yesterday I forgot to share my successes with you!

Tuesday morning's weigh-in read 172 lbs, for another 3.9 lbs down! That's a total of 11.9 lbs in 2 weeks! Yipee! Also, I am fitting into my size 10 jeans! They are a little snug in the waist, but my booty looks great in them!

I missed one of my medifast meals yesterday due to a family meeting and then it getting really late. I think the only consequence associated with that is that for the day I had only 80% of my vitamins and minerals. (medifast foods are fortified with these things so you don't have to take a multi-vitamin while on it.)

I wandered around the mall for awhile yesterday, and had a hard time resisting the food court as I walked through it. But, I still did it. I am proud of myself for the fact that even though something every day is hard for me, I do it anyway, because I know what the rewards will be.

As a reward for my successes so far, I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure yesterday. Heaven!

I'll do better about writing each day, I promise! - B

Day 13 - Finger lickin' good

I didn't realize until I started Medifast just how many times I lick my fingers during the day (don't worry, I wash my hands a lot too). It is really difficult to not lick your fingers when you've just prepared something yummy for someone else. I have been able to resist though - I'm so proud of myself!

Tonight for dinner I made cauliflower pizza - the crust is made out of pureed cauliflower and some other stuff. It was actually really tasty. Not as good as real pizza, obviously, but still really good.

This totally isn't diet related at all, but it's too cute not to share. Today we went bowling - it was Miles's first time. We let him roll his first couple of balls by himself, and the second time, the ball went so slow that it actually stopped in the middle of the lane. Hilarious. He had fun though - we'll definitely go again.

I did start doing a little bit of exercise this week. I'm feeling very energetic and healthy, so I figured it would be okay. I've just done the elliptical every other day for 20 minutes. It feels good to sweat. :)

I am feeling so good about this. This is the longest I've ever been on any program without cheating. (I don't count the taste of frosting last week as a cheat.) I've been successful doing other things, but always cheated.  Knowing that this program absolutely works, and all I have to do is follow it, makes it seem really easy. Not all the time - I do think about buying myself something chocolate and devouring it almost every day - but I just grab a chocolate medifast shake or medifast brownie, and I'm fine.

This program really is about changing your mindset. Eat often, eat healthy, fuel your body.

Looking forward to sharing my week 2 results in a couple of days! - B

Day 11 and 12 - The walls (of my throat) are closing in...

I woke up with a sore throat yesterday. I was feeling better last night, but the sore throat was back this morning with a vengeance. Both kids have booger-y noses. Matt feels like he's been hit by a truck. Needless to say, the Sturtevant household is a bit dreary right now.

It's a good thing I can't eat real food most of the time, because I have a feeling that within the next couple of days I won't be able to taste anything anyway. Should make it pretty easy to stay on plan. :)

Today I faced a common challenge of motherhood when it comes to food - not finishing what is on your toddler's plate. Miles had a quesadilla for lunch and only ate half of it. It was incredibly difficult for me to resist shoving the other half in my mouth and swallowing it with one gulp. Luckily, I'm feeling a little bit stronger each day with the emotional side of things, and I was able to avoid the cheesy goodness.

One week from today I turn 30. I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there that I plan on celebrating. I plan on having a lovely meal with my husband on Friday night, and having a couple of libations and perhaps some nachos (those who know me well will find that amusing) on Saturday at my birthday party. I know that with this type of celebrating I will not see a big loss at the end of the week, and I'm ok with that. Because, next Sunday morning I'll be right back on the wagon. I do know that because I've been on medi-fast for almost 2 weeks now, I will be able to make smarter choices, even when "indulging" in regular food.

I'm still feeling strong and confident most of the time. I'm very charged up about this journey that I'm on. (I'm also charged up about my Dad and Karin getting engaged while on their cruise this week! So happy for them!)

With Blessings - B

Day 10 - A little bored...

If I'm being honest, which is something I always strive to be, I must admit that 10 days in I'm getting a little bored of the medifast food. Plus, I'm not a very creative person in the kitchen, so coming up with a variety of lean and green meals is difficult for me.

So, I spent some time looking at some amazing blogs with some amazing recipes on them today - recipes from other medifasters that got bored too, and are way better at cooking than me! (Thank you Trish for sending me the links to the blogs!) I am excited to try them and maybe branch out and come up with some of my own things.

Even through boredom, I'm sticking to program. I know what I like and don't like, and for my next order I modified it so I won't receive anything I don't like, plus I can try a couple of new things. I don't like the scrambled eggs or the soups. Everything else is pretty decent so far. The texture of the pudding is a little glue-y for my taste, but the flavor is really good.

I feel fantastic. I don't ever feel hungry. I have energy and a spring in my step. I can feel myself shrinking.

On the emotional end of things, I know it will take some time for me to get to the bottom of why I have been an over-eater all of my adult life.  I still think a lot about food. The biggest change for me so far is that my thoughts about food no longer control me. I have them, then I move on. I dream about having a piece of cake or eating a gooey grilled cheese sandwich. But, I know that eating those things will not make me feel as good as I do now. The void they would fill would be back faster than digestion, so I know I cannot eat because it feels good anymore. I'm really trying to change my mindset that food is fuel for my body.

I'm excited to play with my kids, Summer and Jake at Scotty's Playhouse tomorrow. Maybe burn a few extra calories. :)

Thanks for tuning in - B

Day 9 - Staying Motivated

I've been reading a lot of success stories online from people who have done medifast. It is so great to read the stories of these peoples' journeys and their amazing outcomes!  Knowing that some people have lost well over a hundred pounds on this diet makes me know that losing another 30.9 is definitely possible.

The medifast program creators suggest that you don't exercise during the first 2-3 weeks of the program, since the caloric intake is so low, and your body needs time to adjust.  I am excited to start regularly walking, doing the elliptical, and finding new ways to stay fit as well.

For now, I'll be sticking to the Mommy-and-Me swim classes that I started with Miles this week.

Happy Wednesday! - B

Day 8 - It's the little things.

Today when I put on my size 12 jeans fresh out of the dryer, they slid on effortlessly, buttoned without having to lay down on the bed and creating belly button cleavage, and felt like an old friend rather than a new, prettier, skinnier friend. :)

It's the little things like this that make all of this worth it. I am excited to have this feeling with my size 10 jeans. And my size 8 jeans. And, maybe perhaps get to go shopping for some size 6 jeans.

Tonight at dinner Matt said to Miles, "Hey Miles, did you know that Mommy is shrinking?" Miles wasn't really paying attention, but it was so nice to hear Matt say it anyway. What a great husband I have.

Excited for another new day! -B

Day 7 - Drum Roll, Please....

I did it! I survived my first week on medi-fast, and it wasn't a bad experience at all! Before I tell you how my day went, let me reveal my amazing statistics for the week!

Weight: 175.9 lbs (I lost 8 lbs in one week!!!!!!)
Bust: 39.5
Arm: 13.75
Waist: 34
Belly: 39.5
Hips: 41.75
Thigh: 24.75   (a total of 5.25 inches lost!)

I feel so amazing. I can't believe I lost so much in one week. I know that the first week of any program is the "honeymoon" week - but this is by far the most I've ever lost during the honeymoon week.  I know not to expect such a big loss from here on out, but man, does it feel good! That's like a month's worth of weight watchers weight gone in one week! Yippee! (Don't get me wrong, I thing weight watchers is a great program - I just needed something more structured this time around.)

My 7th day on the program was pretty good. Not too much to blab about other than that I did feel very hungry and sort of nauseated for a bit in the mid-morning. I ate my meal a little earlier than I had planned, and it fixed it. I felt great the rest of the day. I made the portabella cap recipe for dinner again. Yum.

Things I learned about myself this week:

-I eat when I'm bored, so keeping myself busy is crucial
-I really could live off dessert (so far the only things I don't like on medi-fast are the savory items. Love all the sweet ones!)
-I had a worse relationship with food than I originally thought - the anxiety I felt my first day made me feel as if I were going through an unpleasant break-up with someone I still really had feelings for. I still feel this a little bit at different times each day, but it is improving daily, just as it would if I were going through a break-up.
-I am stronger than I thought I was.
-For the first time since I started struggling with my weight, I feel like I can actually get to the finish line this time. I don't have the "Why should I lose weight if I'm just going to get pregnant and gain it all back" thoughts in my head anymore. If Matt and I have more kids it will be down the road a few years, so I can really focus on myself right now.

I feel amazing. I hope this finds you feeling amazing today too. - B

Day 6 - Will-Power

Yesterday was my 6th day on this program - all was just fine until I went to dinner with my brothers and my family. We went to PF Changs, which I happen to love, and I was very nervous about being able to make a good choice. I researched the menu online before we got there, so I went in with a game plan, but I knew it might be difficult for me to stick to once I saw what everyone else was ordering.

Dinner started with drinks, of course. The waiter went around the table and got orders from everyone for some sort of exotic, fruity, yummy beverage, and when he got to me, I ordered "just water, please."  My brother then ordered a bottle of wine and when I informed him that I wouldn't be having any, he looked at me like I'd just come from another planet.

I ordered the seared ahi and a side of steamed vegetables for dinner. I don't think the ahi fit exactly into the medi-fast lean and green guidelines, but it was the best thing I could find on the menu - not so far off that it will screw up my loss for the week, I don't think.

I started dinner feeling like I was missing out. I ended dinner feeling victorious.  I went in with a plan, stuck to it, made a good, healthy choice, avoided the banana springrolls entirely, and I know the reward will come when I step on the scale tomorrow.

That, ladies and gentlemen (if there happens to be anyone reading this thing!), is what will-power looks like! - B

Day 5 - Visions of Hershey Kisses danced in my head...

I have been having a lot of strange dreams lately. I think it is probably the medication I'm on - the dreams aren't scary, just vivid and strange.

Last night, among other things, I dreamt of sweets. I dreamt that I was at my parents' house and my stepmom just kept feeding me her awesome toffee/almond roca thing that she makes every Christmas. In the same dream, I was unwrapping hundreds of Hershey's Kisses for no apparent reason. By the way, did you know that Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it is kissing the conveyer belt? Cute, huh? (there's an app for this sort of strange knowledge on my phone.)

Anyway, the dreams were just dreams. I didn't wake up craving sweets. I got up and felt wonderful.

At a baby shower for a friend today, I saw another friend who has recently lost 50 lbs on Medi-fast. She looks fabulous and is so inspiring. I know that she has suffered from the same battles that I have, so I'm so proud of her, and will keep looking to her for inspiration as I go through my journey.

I also resisted cake, butter mints, and ice cream at the baby shower today. Go me! I'm getting the hang of this will-power thing.

Tomorrow I have to tackle dinner at PF Changs with my brothers. I am going to go to their website and check out their menu as soon as I'm done writing this so I can plan ahead.

And hopefully my brothers or husband won't order the banana springrolls for dessert... - B

Day 4 - Blasted Cake!

I was less than perfect today. I made a cake for a friend's baby shower tomorrow, and I was able to resist...mostly. I did have a taste of the cream cheese filling that I made, because I freakin' love it. It was just a taste though, and other than that, I followed program all day today.

Today was great - my new, lovely friend Alisha came over with her son Eli and kept me busy for awhile which kept my mind off of food. (which is not the only reason to have her over, but it definitely helped!) I think keeping myself busy and involved will be a major player in this for me. If I'm bored, I want to eat.

I am not feeling hungry in between my medi-fast meals anymore. And, I like that in the evening in order to have a satisfying meal, I actually have to cook for myself, which is something I'm not used to doing.

Feeling good. Have to make it through the baby shower tomorrow - that may be a challenge. Still, I'll be armed with a medi-fast bar and I'll eat that medi-fast bar like it's the most delicious thing I've ever had in my whole life. And, I'll smile when I step on the scale on Tuesday.

Happy Friday Everyone! Enjoy the weekend!  - B

Day 3 - Feeling Good!

Here we are at day 3 - still going strong. It was a really good day today - and I feel it was good because I resisted one of my major weaknesses - McDonald's fries.  Miles ate his happy meal and played at the Play Place, and I ate a medi-fast bar. It was actually pretty tasty. :)

I didn't feel as hungry today, so I think my body is starting to adjust. I'm really excited to see how much I am losing this week.

Yesterday's surprise was that the "soft serve" by medi-fast is actually very sweet and creamy. Not like DQ by any means, but still a tasty enough treat to satisfy my ravenous sweet tooth. I did wonder today if I think these things taste good because I'm constantly looking forward to my next "meal." Even so, the food is at least good enough for me to think I can really stick with this.

I'm already learning that the less I am focusing on food, the more I am focusing on all the blessings in my life.  I have always tried to never take anything in my life for granted, but when you take an obsession away, you can really see how good you have it. I have such an amazing family. My husband is so supportive and so wonderful. My children are so delightful and make it so easy for me to smile every day.

Life is good. Even on medi-fast. - B

Day 2 - Addictions

Last night I asked Matt if he remembered what he emotionally went through when he quit smoking 5 years ago. He told me that he was scared and had a lot of anxiety. He then followed it up with some very good advice...just take one step at a time. Remind myself everyday that I've made it this far, so I might as well keep going. I have the world's greatest husband.

I don't think many people realize that there are food addictions. The toughest thing about a food addiction is that you can't remove yourself from it. You have to eat to survive. You can't quit eating "cold turkey", or decide to hang out with people who don't eat. Food is a part of our lives and breaking the addiction means making the right food choices, eating proper portions, and using other ways to soothe yourself emotionally or fight boredom. (both in my case)

Today felt a little better than yesterday. Still feeling hungry.  I realized that I'm going to have to plan something really delicious for my Lean and Green meal every day so that I have something to look forward to when I'm choking down powdered "eggs" and soy protein shakes.  Tonight I made a portabella cap stuffed with Boca crumbles, spinach and tomatoes. It was awesome. It is a recipe I will make again and again...even when I'm not on this diet.

So far I like about 60% of the food. That's not too shabby. Good job Medi-fast.

Last night I was feeling very scared - like I didn't know if I had made the right decision to do this. But I'm feeling better today, and figure, hey, I've made it 2 whole days, why not go for 3?

I'll let you know how it goes - B

The kickoff

Well, I'm more than halfway through day one, and so far my biggest challenge is posting this blog. I'm not excited to share the following information with the world, but here it goes...

Weight: 183.9 lbs
Bust: 40.5 in
Arm: 15.5 in
Waist: 35.5 in
Belly: (at navel) 40.5 in
Hips: 41.75 in
Thigh: 25.25 in

And, here are my before pictures, taken just moments ago. The lack of makeup or hair being done is so that my after pictures look that much more fabulous! (Actually, it's just because I haven't had a chance to shower today - having little ones does that to you.) 

I opted to not do the whole sports bra and spandex thing. I'm brave, not stupid.  No one wants to see that.

For those not familiar with the Medi-fast diet, it is a 5 and 1 plan...meaning I eat 5 of their "meals" per day and one lean and green meal per day...and of course lots of water.

The food is not fabulous, but the surprise of the day was that the pancakes are actually pretty decent.  

I am feeling hungry. Not famished, but not satisfied either. I'm sure that is normal for the first few days while my body adjusts.

Oh, I almost forgot. I need to tell you what my weight loss goal is!  It is currently my intention to lose at least 38.9 lbs and get down to 145.  If I get there and feel I want to go further, I'll do it. 145 is a normal and healthy weight for a woman of my age and height (I'll be 30 in 2 weeks and I am 5'4").

Okay, that's it for now! I'm sure the following days will provide me with all sorts of anecdotes to share with you. 

Stay tuned! B

Here we go again...but for the last time!

Hello and welcome to Skinny B's Road to Success Blog!

I am Skinny B (almost) - aka Brooke - and I have been battling my weight since my early twenties.  I recently had my second baby and although I feel blessed to have already lost the weight I gained during pregnancy, I have about 40 extra lbs I'd like to get rid of.

Let me start off this thing by saying that I am absolutely terrified.  I can't believe I'm putting this out on the internet for everyone to see, but I figure that the worst thing that is going to happen is that people will make fun of me for the current state I'm in. But, if someone is going to do that, I probably don't care what they think anyway.  I hope that by tracking my progress and challenges, my feelings and the rest of my journey, I will be better able to hold myself accountable. Afterall, I would not want to disappoint my fans. :)

A brief synopsis of my journey follows:

In my early twenties I was at a very healthy weight. More than ideal per doctor/science/BMI standards. I hung out at around 135 lbs.

When I moved in with my then boyfriend Matt (now husband) the usual happened...I got comfortable, started eating what he eats, and let myself gain some weight. About 25 lbs in 6 months. I joined Weight Watchers after we got engaged and lost about 15 lbs before the wedding. We cruised for our honeymoon, and those that have ever been on a cruise know how easy it is to gain weight on one...I gained all 15 lbs back between my honeymoon and the first few weeks in my marriage.

Knowing that this was not a healthy thing, I started attending Weight Watchers again. I did great! I lost that 15 lbs fast and it felt so awesome! So, of course, I stopped going to Weight Watchers. The weight came back, and then some.

About a year and a half after Matt and I got married, we got pregnant, and I lost the baby. It was the lowest point in my whole life emotionally. I ate for comfort and kept gaining weight.

Christmas 2007 we found out I was pregnant again...this time I was blessed with my beautiful son Miles, born in August of 2008. I gained a normal, healthy amount with my pregnancy. About 35 lbs.  A lot came off after he was born, but I joined Weight Watchers again and lost 30 lbs in 4 months! Again, it felt so awesome. I got down to a size 8, and I just felt so wonderful. Then, I hit a wall. Not a plateau, but a wall. I stayed at the same weight for 12 weeks, and I just gave up. I maintained my weight for awhile, but, as should have been expected, it slowly came back. I gained back 15 lbs before I got pregnant again with my now 3-month old princess, Maggie.

Again, the pregnancy weight came off fast, but now it is time for me to work on the emotional eating/food addiction weight that has been on my body for far too long now.

Through the recommendation and guidance of my doctor, I am starting the Medi-fast diet tomorrow.  I am scared. I am excited. I am nervous.  I am mourning the loss of my old lifestyle and my old self. I will likely mourn the loss of some of my favorite clothes as well...so long as I get to trade them in for smaller favorite clothes, I should survive. :) I am excited for a new me. To have energy to play with my kids.

I am doing this for many reasons. For my health, to be a good example for my children, to see my husband's jaw drop when I wear a dress, to feel good about myself and to take advantage of the one life I've been given on this earth and make the most of it.

This blog is to help me be accountable, get support from my friends and family, and to track my journey so that WHEN, not if, I reach my destination, I can look back and see how far I've come.

Tomorrow is my first official day of my new lifestyle . I will post my "before" pictures, and my stats including my weight tomorrow morning and my measurements. My goal is to post these things weekly and blog daily about how I am feeling, what my challenges are, what is easy for me, and all that other good stuff.

I hope that through this account of the start of my new lifestyle, I can inspire others to make the changes they want to make as well. Weight-related or otherwise.

Also I should note that I chose the black blog background in the hopes that it would make me appear thinner. :)

Until tomorrow, B