My inner-feminist emerged this morning and startled me out of this coma I've been in for oh...20 years or so. The obsession with weight and size and the way I look.
I ran two miles this morning - the first time I have done so by myself in probably 2 months. I have run a few times with the kids in their stroller, but I haven't taken the soul-renewing 20 minutes to myself in quite some time. It was liberating. It was beautiful. It made me thankful for my legs, my heart, my lungs, the air we breathe, the blue sky, the ability to afford good running shoes, etc.
I realized that I have become a SLAVE to my scale. Therefore, as soon as my husband gets out of the shower in a few minutes, I am going to throw my scale away.
When I say slave, I mean slave. I don't just weigh myself once per day, I weigh myself at least twice, sometimes more. I don't know why - because all I'm watching it do right now is go up. Since my last post I have gained another 5 pounds. But guess what? As of right now, I'm going to try to stop caring about that.
I have this 20 lb, 30 inch goal in mind. No, I don't mean my measurements or my weight. I mean my daughter. She is my goal. To instill in her the confidence and strength that we as women are so blessed to have. To show her that being skinny, or being a size 4, or having perfect makeup and hair, mean so little.
What matters is health. Happiness. Love. Gratitude. Philanthropy. Humor. Intelligence. With all of these things comes a beauty that no number on a scale or size of jeans can duplicate. When a woman is beautiful on the inside, she is beautiful on the outside, no matter what her waist measurement is.
I'm going to start running regularly again. For my health, and for the meditative state it puts me in. I know that I need to "watch my weight" in the sense that I shouldn't do anything that will destroy my body, but I'm no longer going to be a slave to the numbers.
I hope this post finds you all happy, healthy and loved today. May your day be filled with blessings!
B
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