Day 27 - Finger foods

I love spinach dip. I love cheese dip. I  love brownies. I love chips. I love cheese platters. I love chocolate chip cookies.

I love all these things, and yet somehow, by some miracle from heaven above, I managed to ignore all of them at Matt's staff party last night.

A whole table full of yummy, calorie and fat-laden finger foods and goodies, that one month ago - heck, probably 2 weeks ago - I would not have been able to resist. I've always sort of had this don't-pass-up-free-food mentality.

I used to work for a company that had a gagillion catered lunches a week. I'm only slightly exaggerating. There were meetings every day of the week that for some reason required a sit-down lunch - sometimes 3-4 in one day. As the receptionist at the time, it was my responsibility to order these lunches. That means I usually chose the menu as well.

For a food-lover such as myself, a free, catered lunch was heaven. There were almost always leftovers after the meetings, so I would pile up a plate and take it back to my desk. Not so bad, right? Well, if I had been able to stop at one plate with one lunch, I probably would have only suffered a slight bulging of the waistline.

If there was more than one type of lunch that sounded appealing (remember, I chose the menus so they always sounded appealing to me) I would have a plate of each one. Not because I was hungry, but because it tasted so darn good. Because it was free. Because clearly I was filling some sort of empty void with food. I gained a lot of weight.

Last night was a huge personal victory. A whole spread of foods that I love, for free. Free cocktails. I didn't have a bite or a sip of anything but water.  I even forgot to bring one of my medi-fast meals, and I still didn't need to eat anything at the party.

The best part is, I didn't really have to think about it. I knew that NONE of that food would taste as good as I feel when I step on the scale and see it go down. None of it would be as satisfying as slipping into smaller jeans. For the first time in my whole adult life, I was completely in control of my food addiction.

I'm going to stop writing now - I'm getting choked up at the thought of my huge breakthrough. I'm proud of myself. So very proud. My journey is far from over, but at least I know that I'm the one driving now.
-B