..turn, that is.
Today was a much better day. I did myself a favor and went through all my old blog posts from when I was on Medifast. How when I got to my current weight before, I was ecstatic and positive, and ready to take on the world.
After reading what myself from 6 months ago wrote, I was able to be very strong today - I stuck to my points perfectly, and didn't really even feel like I was missing out on anything.
I know part of my victory today was that I kept myself very busy. I was cleaning the house to prepare for company tomorrow, so I was never bored.
I guess my house is going to be spotless from now on.
I'm feeling recharged and ready to take this journey again. I know that food addiction is something that I will always struggle with - but it is time to take charge again for my health's sake, and for the sake of my family. I really need my children to see me making good choices.
Going for a run in the morning. Ciao! - B
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Sabotage No More
So, they say a problem shared is a problem halved, right?
Well, here goes.
I am a food addict. Big time. I need help.
I rejoined Weight Watchers this week - my weigh in (albeit fully-clothed and in the evening after dinner) was a disappointment - 166 lbs. I have gained back 24 lbs in the last 6 months. Head slap.
So, most people when they join weight watchers, including me (it is something I have done a couple of times in the past) have a honeymoon period, where they are inspired, and revved up, and can't do anything but succeed - well, it has been 2 days for me, and I am still sabotaging myself horribly.
I started today out great - my goals in mind, my points target all planned out for the day. Then, I hit the afternoon hungry monster, and I lost it, terribly. I went on a binge - I ate so much so fast, I'm not even sure what I put in my mouth.
The most embarrassing thing for me was the whip cream - I made a carton of whipped cream and ate it with a spoon. Yep. The whole thing.
So, I'm blogging again. Accountability. I think that is the only thing that can work for me right now. Knowing that someone out there might be counting on me to be strong for them when they are having a hard time too. Please let me know if you have any tips to help me stop destroying myself. I know that ultimately I need to see a therapist about this, but that just isn't in the cards, or the budget right now.
I'm in a sad and desperate place - the cold weather is setting in, I'm bored. I'm hoping this blog will help.
Well, here goes.
I am a food addict. Big time. I need help.
I rejoined Weight Watchers this week - my weigh in (albeit fully-clothed and in the evening after dinner) was a disappointment - 166 lbs. I have gained back 24 lbs in the last 6 months. Head slap.
So, most people when they join weight watchers, including me (it is something I have done a couple of times in the past) have a honeymoon period, where they are inspired, and revved up, and can't do anything but succeed - well, it has been 2 days for me, and I am still sabotaging myself horribly.
I started today out great - my goals in mind, my points target all planned out for the day. Then, I hit the afternoon hungry monster, and I lost it, terribly. I went on a binge - I ate so much so fast, I'm not even sure what I put in my mouth.
The most embarrassing thing for me was the whip cream - I made a carton of whipped cream and ate it with a spoon. Yep. The whole thing.
So, I'm blogging again. Accountability. I think that is the only thing that can work for me right now. Knowing that someone out there might be counting on me to be strong for them when they are having a hard time too. Please let me know if you have any tips to help me stop destroying myself. I know that ultimately I need to see a therapist about this, but that just isn't in the cards, or the budget right now.
I'm in a sad and desperate place - the cold weather is setting in, I'm bored. I'm hoping this blog will help.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
A slap in the face...
My inner-feminist emerged this morning and startled me out of this coma I've been in for oh...20 years or so. The obsession with weight and size and the way I look.
I ran two miles this morning - the first time I have done so by myself in probably 2 months. I have run a few times with the kids in their stroller, but I haven't taken the soul-renewing 20 minutes to myself in quite some time. It was liberating. It was beautiful. It made me thankful for my legs, my heart, my lungs, the air we breathe, the blue sky, the ability to afford good running shoes, etc.
I realized that I have become a SLAVE to my scale. Therefore, as soon as my husband gets out of the shower in a few minutes, I am going to throw my scale away.
When I say slave, I mean slave. I don't just weigh myself once per day, I weigh myself at least twice, sometimes more. I don't know why - because all I'm watching it do right now is go up. Since my last post I have gained another 5 pounds. But guess what? As of right now, I'm going to try to stop caring about that.
I have this 20 lb, 30 inch goal in mind. No, I don't mean my measurements or my weight. I mean my daughter. She is my goal. To instill in her the confidence and strength that we as women are so blessed to have. To show her that being skinny, or being a size 4, or having perfect makeup and hair, mean so little.
What matters is health. Happiness. Love. Gratitude. Philanthropy. Humor. Intelligence. With all of these things comes a beauty that no number on a scale or size of jeans can duplicate. When a woman is beautiful on the inside, she is beautiful on the outside, no matter what her waist measurement is.
I'm going to start running regularly again. For my health, and for the meditative state it puts me in. I know that I need to "watch my weight" in the sense that I shouldn't do anything that will destroy my body, but I'm no longer going to be a slave to the numbers.
I hope this post finds you all happy, healthy and loved today. May your day be filled with blessings!
B
I ran two miles this morning - the first time I have done so by myself in probably 2 months. I have run a few times with the kids in their stroller, but I haven't taken the soul-renewing 20 minutes to myself in quite some time. It was liberating. It was beautiful. It made me thankful for my legs, my heart, my lungs, the air we breathe, the blue sky, the ability to afford good running shoes, etc.
I realized that I have become a SLAVE to my scale. Therefore, as soon as my husband gets out of the shower in a few minutes, I am going to throw my scale away.
When I say slave, I mean slave. I don't just weigh myself once per day, I weigh myself at least twice, sometimes more. I don't know why - because all I'm watching it do right now is go up. Since my last post I have gained another 5 pounds. But guess what? As of right now, I'm going to try to stop caring about that.
I have this 20 lb, 30 inch goal in mind. No, I don't mean my measurements or my weight. I mean my daughter. She is my goal. To instill in her the confidence and strength that we as women are so blessed to have. To show her that being skinny, or being a size 4, or having perfect makeup and hair, mean so little.
What matters is health. Happiness. Love. Gratitude. Philanthropy. Humor. Intelligence. With all of these things comes a beauty that no number on a scale or size of jeans can duplicate. When a woman is beautiful on the inside, she is beautiful on the outside, no matter what her waist measurement is.
I'm going to start running regularly again. For my health, and for the meditative state it puts me in. I know that I need to "watch my weight" in the sense that I shouldn't do anything that will destroy my body, but I'm no longer going to be a slave to the numbers.
I hope this post finds you all happy, healthy and loved today. May your day be filled with blessings!
B
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Day 1 - Beans, Beans, The Magical Fruit (hopefully!)
As promised, my current weight and measurements are as follows:
Weight: 149.7 (yesterday I was 148 - I think my scale needs new batteries, but for now, we'll go with the higher weight.)
Bust: 37 in.
Arm: 12.5 in.
Waist: 32 in.
Belly: 36 in.
Hip: 38.5 in.
Thigh: 22.75 in.
Blogging yesterday helped me realize that the 4 hour body diet is not out of my reach, so I started it today. Pretty much I eat legumes, cruciferous veggies and protein 6 days a week (4 times a day, as much as I want to feel full) and then have a once per week "binge" day where I can eat whatever I want all day after a high-protein breakfast. I'm going to try it for a month, and see how I do. People that have been doing it for years swear by it, and I don't figure it is that hard to eat this way, but we shall see. If I can do medi-fast, I can do anything.
Also as promised, I took pictures of everything I ate today - I stuck to the plan perfectly - but it turned out to be too much food for me. I ended up saving half of my dinner meal, and I will have it for breakfast tomorrow.
The spinach is from our garden! It is pretty cool to eat fresh spinach every day.
I did awesome for day 1! I'm now on the search for a kettle bell to do some exercises at home and will continue running a couple times a week. Those interested should check out www.fourhourbody.com - the information about this plan is absolutely fascinating. Some of it seems a little bogus, but much seems doable and sustainable.
Just so you know, I'll be weighing daily and measuring weekly. I'll post the weekly measurements and weight on facebook - my true accountability forum. :)
Until tomorrow my friends - B
Weight: 149.7 (yesterday I was 148 - I think my scale needs new batteries, but for now, we'll go with the higher weight.)
Bust: 37 in.
Arm: 12.5 in.
Waist: 32 in.
Belly: 36 in.
Hip: 38.5 in.
Thigh: 22.75 in.
Blogging yesterday helped me realize that the 4 hour body diet is not out of my reach, so I started it today. Pretty much I eat legumes, cruciferous veggies and protein 6 days a week (4 times a day, as much as I want to feel full) and then have a once per week "binge" day where I can eat whatever I want all day after a high-protein breakfast. I'm going to try it for a month, and see how I do. People that have been doing it for years swear by it, and I don't figure it is that hard to eat this way, but we shall see. If I can do medi-fast, I can do anything.
Also as promised, I took pictures of everything I ate today - I stuck to the plan perfectly - but it turned out to be too much food for me. I ended up saving half of my dinner meal, and I will have it for breakfast tomorrow.
The spinach is from our garden! It is pretty cool to eat fresh spinach every day.
I did awesome for day 1! I'm now on the search for a kettle bell to do some exercises at home and will continue running a couple times a week. Those interested should check out www.fourhourbody.com - the information about this plan is absolutely fascinating. Some of it seems a little bogus, but much seems doable and sustainable.
Just so you know, I'll be weighing daily and measuring weekly. I'll post the weekly measurements and weight on facebook - my true accountability forum. :)
Until tomorrow my friends - B
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
New Experiment
Okay, so clearly I'm not on medi-fast anymore, and I didn't do very well at tracking my transition off the program. That's because I didn't do very well transitioning off the program at all - and I was too embarrassed to admit it. So, here's the truth. I have not been eating great over the last two months, and as a result, I have gained back a few pounds. Not enough for me to change sizes or feel like I've undone any of the hard work I did, but still, I wanted to continue going the other direction for a few pounds. Now I'm back at 148, and my ultimate goal is to be in the 120's - meaning 129.9. Tomorrow morning I'm going to restart my tracking and measuring, and I will post here.
I really do think blogging is part of the big picture for me. It helps to hold me accountable. I don't want to fail in the eyes of my readers, so if I commit to blogging each day, I'll commit to my diet each day.
I have been reading a little bit about the 4 hour body diet - and while much of it is extreme and would not fit well into my lifestyle, there are pieces of it that would be very beneficial - one of which is the advice to take a picture of everything you eat before you eat it. Most people don't want to take a picture of something un-healthy. My plan is to take a picture of everything I eat and post it on my blog daily. That way I'm being held accountable in that way too.
Another element of the 4 hour body diet is to increase protein at breakfast - at least 30 grams. In fact, the creator of this program said that if you don't do anything else on the plan, following this step will give you noticeable results. Worth a shot. I'm sure that I can always use a little more protein.
With that, I'll write tomorrow and post pictures of what I consume. I'll try not to embarrass myself too much. :) B
I really do think blogging is part of the big picture for me. It helps to hold me accountable. I don't want to fail in the eyes of my readers, so if I commit to blogging each day, I'll commit to my diet each day.
I have been reading a little bit about the 4 hour body diet - and while much of it is extreme and would not fit well into my lifestyle, there are pieces of it that would be very beneficial - one of which is the advice to take a picture of everything you eat before you eat it. Most people don't want to take a picture of something un-healthy. My plan is to take a picture of everything I eat and post it on my blog daily. That way I'm being held accountable in that way too.
Another element of the 4 hour body diet is to increase protein at breakfast - at least 30 grams. In fact, the creator of this program said that if you don't do anything else on the plan, following this step will give you noticeable results. Worth a shot. I'm sure that I can always use a little more protein.
With that, I'll write tomorrow and post pictures of what I consume. I'll try not to embarrass myself too much. :) B
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Week 14 - Starting Transition Today!
I made it - 14 weeks on medifast, went past my goal, lost 3 pant sizes - lost a load of inches. I know now that because I could do this, I can do anything.
My weight this morning is 142, for 1.5 down this week, and a total of 41.8 lbs down in 14 weeks.
Measurements:
Bust: 35 (-5.5 - So long, boobs.)
Arm: 11.75 (-3.75 - still working on the batwings, but at least I can wear something sleeveless)
Waist: 28.5 (-7 - yes, 7 inches from my waist IS awesome)
Belly: 32.75 (-7.75 - no more muffin top!)
Hips: 35 (-6.75 - my hips don't lie...)
Thigh: 20.5 (-4.75 - I am the thigh master)
A total of 35.5 inches gone from my body in 14 weeks! I lost an average of 2.98 lbs per week. I am excited to lose a few more on transition as well.
I want the weather to get warmer so I can wear my new shorts. For the first time in my whole life, I LOVE my legs. I'm sure running has a lot to do with that - I go every other day, and I'm currently training for a half marathon.
Trish and I are headed to Disneyland in June - my goal is to be toned enough to wear a 2 piece bathing suit at the hotel pool. I've transformed so much already - getting some muscle should be a piece of cake. :) Sugar-free cake, of course.
I'll keep blogging as I go through transition - until next time! - B
My weight this morning is 142, for 1.5 down this week, and a total of 41.8 lbs down in 14 weeks.
Measurements:
Bust: 35 (-5.5 - So long, boobs.)
Arm: 11.75 (-3.75 - still working on the batwings, but at least I can wear something sleeveless)
Waist: 28.5 (-7 - yes, 7 inches from my waist IS awesome)
Belly: 32.75 (-7.75 - no more muffin top!)
Hips: 35 (-6.75 - my hips don't lie...)
Thigh: 20.5 (-4.75 - I am the thigh master)
A total of 35.5 inches gone from my body in 14 weeks! I lost an average of 2.98 lbs per week. I am excited to lose a few more on transition as well.
I want the weather to get warmer so I can wear my new shorts. For the first time in my whole life, I LOVE my legs. I'm sure running has a lot to do with that - I go every other day, and I'm currently training for a half marathon.
Trish and I are headed to Disneyland in June - my goal is to be toned enough to wear a 2 piece bathing suit at the hotel pool. I've transformed so much already - getting some muscle should be a piece of cake. :) Sugar-free cake, of course.
I'll keep blogging as I go through transition - until next time! - B
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Week 13 - YAHOO!!!!
I'm posting my week 13 stats early, because I'm leaving on a jet plane for Denver tomorrow, and I'm going to try to stay away from all things computer-ish.
Are you ready, are you ready, are you ready?????
143.5.....That's down 3.8 lbs in 5 days, and 1.5 lbs BELOW MY GOAL!!! I did it! I freakin' did it!
I'm so happy. I'm so excited. I'm so confident. I'm so healthy. I'm addicted to running. I have so much energy. I don't even know who this person is, but I love her, and I'm never letting her go.
I have one more week on Medifast full-time, and then I move on to transition. I'll save my measurements until next week's last "full time" weigh in, and I'll post my "after" pictures after I complete transition.
Wish me luck in Denver on vacation! I know I can do it!!!!!
Are you ready, are you ready, are you ready?????
143.5.....That's down 3.8 lbs in 5 days, and 1.5 lbs BELOW MY GOAL!!! I did it! I freakin' did it!
I'm so happy. I'm so excited. I'm so confident. I'm so healthy. I'm addicted to running. I have so much energy. I don't even know who this person is, but I love her, and I'm never letting her go.
I have one more week on Medifast full-time, and then I move on to transition. I'll save my measurements until next week's last "full time" weigh in, and I'll post my "after" pictures after I complete transition.
Wish me luck in Denver on vacation! I know I can do it!!!!!
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